Saturday, February 22, 2014


How should I ever say it to you when all I know is I'm afraid to face what's is front of me. At the same time, I am afraid of losing you. And they keep saying "Let it be, Diviana. Let it happen, don't doubt it." I wanna ask you again, how. Teach me, teach me how to feel love again. Teach me what is love and what it is all about. Be frank to me. What do you see us in your eyes? I love it to be with you. The problem is I cant read you. Sometimes I feel like you could stand having me around and sometimes you're not. But things are kind of different, I feel your love. But I'm afraid that I wasn't thinking the same like you. I'm afraid that this feeling is only me who felt it. If this is love then show it honey, show it and tell me and be frank with me because I really want to know. I freaking what to know. Because you already have my heart. You had already climbed my walls. I can't doubt it anymore. You did it.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Don't ever say anything if you doesn't feel what I feel.

Why do people always thought that I could at least be happy and forget everything as easy as they said? I mean like come on, why can't you give me chance? It's not I dont want to hear you or anything. I take what is given. I did. I appreciates every single things in my life. If I could show you how, I would, I swear I would. But not now. I am trying. I am & even if you can't see my effort dont says it to me. Bcs it somehow breaks me apart. I want you to know that it wasn't easy for me. I can't even says how hard it was but it is. It's so hard. I wants to break the wall and get out from here, I really wants to but please don't pushed me so hard. I want it to be permanent, I dont want to be happy and then sad again. I want to be in the state of permanently happy, do you understand? But it takes time. And if you are tired to handle this and wanna give up now, leave. Just leave. Bcs in the end I realize that i'm the only fighter in this war. I should have settle this alone.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

The same things all over again.

Never put the blame on anyone else. I knew I was too brave for everything that was beyond my expectations. I was dumb. I know. I know expectation kills. But you see, I was too stubborn. It's just so hard to say everything for now. Everything fades away. Everything about us. I never knew this could happen. I mean like, what have I done to us? Is it me? Am I the one who's responsible to take all the blame? Why? There's always one thing I couldn't understand about you, why do you take it so easy and expect it was so easy to me too? This isn't a fairy tale anymore, darling. This is not my story. This is never, beyond my everything. You were great before. Why do we have to face this? Are your love is gone by now? You said your love was permanent. But all I can see was a broken wings shattered all around the corner. You broke everything we had. I used to love your sweet voice on the phone. I used to hear you singing for me every time I wanted to go to sleep. 

I tried hard to moved on. I tried everything I could to forget you. But the world that I want to step in seems so far away. Far far away. 

Entah lah. I thought I could be immune. But no, I can't.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013


I would be lying if I said life's good. I would be lying if I said I'm okay because technically, physically and mentally, I am not. For what's going on, for what I'm going through, for what I'd expected or for what you'd put me through, kill me. Kill me now. This is not going to run smoothly. This is not going to be happen quickly. This is not going to be okay. Don't called me a spoiled-brat. I am not. You just dont know how distance could kills you. It's just like a hollow feelings. The mask I'm wearing were torn. It happens very slow where the feeling of being battered and beaten is torturing me? How could you let them happen just like that? I'm standing tall amidst a broken lives. No one ever care if you stay back or to pick up all the pieces of your heart or to guide you or to run along with you to the exit path. Just no one. You could be feel the sorrow. It started very smooth and give you an empty climax, a stupid and pitiful it was. With all the nonsense, the curtain came down in one swift moment and that's it, they stop just like that.

Saturday, April 27, 2013


Do you remember the day we go to the park to have a walked & talked to each other like no one else in the world, there’s like only you & me? Do you remember we used to stay up at night & having a long conversations on the phone like there’s no tomorrow? Do you remember how we loved the smells of the rain & dance along with the rhythm of the rain & neglected the eyes that looking enviously into us? Do you remember how you used to cheer up every single day that we’d been through? Do you remember the views of the sparkling sea like there were billons of diamond on top of the surface? Do you remember the day you walked me to school & we wandered, hand in hand? Do you remember the day you let my heart stop pounding ten to the dozen by a bit of your glance? Do you remember the day we decided to move our relationship onto the next level, from friend to soul-mates? Do you know how I missed the old days of us? Do you really remember all these day we’d spent together?
I watch you drifting apart from me, it hurts like forever. Imagining you sets off down the steep grassy path at the park we used to hang. When you’re finally out of my sight I pick up a book. I tried to hold the tears as hard as I could. I really can’t be bothered to read poems right now, but I suppose I should. At least I can move you away from my brain. But no, there’s nothing can stop me thinking about you. I turn around and lie on my stomach, facing up the hill. There’s something deliriously comfortable about it. Somehow I can feel relaxed, I can moved away the tensed but somehow it’s about to fall, the pearl on both of my eyes. I can’t stand it any longer. A seagull flies over my head, high above the ocean, but low against the land. It’s so close I can hear its wings flapping. I try to read again. The tall grass around me sways in the breeze. They’re like trying to calm me. I feel relaxed in a bit. It’s peaceful & quite, indeed. The words are in front of my eyes, but they’re not going in. I close my eyes for a moment and feel the warm sun on my back.
I wake up. I look around to find you, the grass, the hill & the warm air. There’s nothing like that. I tried to bring myself back into reality. My bad, the reality sucks. I found myself lying on the floor inside my bedroom with the scattered pictures all around. Where did I do wrong? 
It hurts.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Repost: Tumblr's Escapist: We shouldn't always leave it to destiny.

Oh hello again. Tonight I felt like I want to share something to you guys. So i found this on Tumblr. Quite relatable to those who in love with someone but they leave it all to destiny. So here's for you.

“If it’s meant to be, it will be.”
“If we are for each other, then destiny will find its way..”
“I still believe that we are destined with each other..”
We always say these phrases. These are the things that we are holding on to when we are too tired of doing all those efforts just to obtain the love of our life. We always leave it up to destiny. We always think that destiny will do its work. We have this mindset that all we gotta do is sit back and see what happens next because destiny will do its magic trick and you will have that happy ending that you always wanted, right? But we are all wrong. We are all wrong for just leaving it all to destiny. We are all wrong for just sitting back and waiting on what will happen next in our love life. We are all wrong for letting the destiny do the job that we should be doing. Yes, some things are destined to happen but sometimes, we have to make things happen.
How can you find the love of your life if you’re not searching? How can the one you love will know you love her if you won’t make her feel such? How can your partner stay with you for a very long time if you won’t fight for her? How can you call yourself a lover if you won’t love at all? How can you expect yourself to have that happy ending or that happily forever after that you always wanted if you won’t work for it?
Sometimes, we have to be the ones who create our own destiny. We shouldn’t always let the destiny decide what will happen to our life. This is our life and it is our own right to do what we want to to do. We have to strive hard for that happiness-with-the-love-of-our-life that we always dreamed of. We have to work hard for it so that someday we will have it. Yes, if it’s meant to be, it will be. But if it’s not, then do something so it will be worth it.
Uhm. I found this article & it is indeed true. But, when ever you'd enough effort to do something, for me, just leave it all the rest to Allah. Have faith on what you're doing. Not only about love matters, but about all of the things you do in your own life.  Keep trying and trying and trying. So yeah, hands down right now. Good night :) x

Thursday, April 4, 2013

broken one.

there are tears in my eyes right now and quite frankly I'm hurt.

you know when you tell yourself time and time again that you're going to move on, but you never really do? and then you kind of reach that point where you have to move on. not just because you're ready to, but because you're forcing yourself. because the whole situation is making you physically sick. because for 424 long days you gave it your best, and tried so hard for that one person to understand you, and to see what a wonderful thing you both could be. because time after time you convince yourself they mean the things they do and say, and you somehow start to believe. and then maybe, after so much time, you think they really do want to try and give it a second shot. and just when you want to maybe have that conversation, they pull you in close, hold your hand, look you in the eye and say "you know i've been using you." and in that moment you're crushed. you wish you could take back all the laughs, the memories, the happiness. because you gave so much to that person and you truly meant it all, and all you were to them was something to use.

do you know how much that hurts? having somebody look at you, somebody who you really cared about and were coming to love, look you in the eye and straight up tell you they've been using you? it hurts. a lot.

and the tear stains on my cheeks are growing, and the pain in my chest doesn't cease. and all i really want is a hug. that's it. a hug from somebody who loves and cares about me. and all i want is to not be hurt. or maybe i just wish i could put a wall up around my heart. because walls are strong, and if built right, they can do a good job at protecting something so delicate.

because not letting somebody in is a whole lot easier than trying to get them out.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Nurhafizah Bt. Abu Bakar

*gambar curi dari twitter

Friends? How do you define friends? To be more specific, how do you define your own best friend? So for  me the word 'friend' have been appeared in my life since I was still in the kindergarten. Well, a best friend is one who knows you inside and out. Who knows what you need before you ask for it. The one who laughed a ton of of the time with you. The one who would be always there in any terms of circumstances. The one who would always the first one to know you're in pain. Friends, they made you laugh and tear up a little. All in a heartwarming way. Friend and friendship are the greatest gifts. I feel blessed to have dear wonderful friends, some live near and some far, some old. A friend is someone who, when you see or think about, puts a smile on your face and gives you a happy heart,  no matter what is going on in life(theirs or yours). A friend is someone you feel comfortable enough sharing the best and/or the worst with. A friend is someone who won't judge you but whose honesty, opinion and advice you value.

So here, I recently misses her so much. She was all of the above and more and still puts a smile on my face

To make it a story, we'd been friend since I was still in my primary school. So we were sitting next to each other since we were in Year 3. To be counted, we'd been friend for about 8 years past and until this very moment. Time we'd spent each other were priceless and too precious. She'd made my childhood moment very valuable with all joy and laughter. Back then, she was everything to me. To my life. The one who I rely on. She's genius though. She's warming, gentle, caring, lovable and generous. And she's the one who did everything with me together. She's the one who never bored calling me 'D'. She's cute. The only person who loves to smile like forever. Sh'es really good on maths and science subject. I get jealous with her sometime, ehehe. She's someone who actually easy to talked to. She's a great listener. She's perfect, way too perfect.

I can't tell you how much I value, treasure and cherish my friendships, right from the friends made in childhood, to the ones I added in school, and the ones I have made and retained ever since. I've learned from them, we've stood each other in our tough times and I'm so utterly grateful to have had friendships that have gone from strength to strength over the decades.

I am very grateful to have her by my side. Even though we'd been choosing a different schools to attend to, but we'll forever after being a BFF like forever.

With love from your girlfriend,
Dayang Natasya Diviana's xx

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Chapter 18 ♡

"There'll be bluebirds over...."

Obviously listening to the song and I let myself to go on her own tour of daydreaming. I was 17 y/old a few days ago and wow to the times bcs they flies real fast. So, its normal to celebrate your own birthday, but not when your country was on war. Ahh, never mind. As long as they are safe, it is more than enough.

So, I really dont want to talk about it but,but maybe I shall just right it down here bcs I found no relief without expressing this. This time, I'm trying to read another book by Sophie Kinsella - but no doubt I'll sit and stare at the words and not take in any of them. I feel nervous when I think of the results, I say I'm freaking nervous. I'm way behind on my preparation, and I do indeed like to be prepared. Maybe I will be a fly-by-the-seats-on my pants kind of girl on this occasion. The Sophie's Kinsella books cannot be compete with this results thingy. I am sitting on my room, here (ah i dont have to tell you where is it), staring out of the window. I can see treetops(guava's tree) and the roof of my other neighbor's house from here. I sit a lot, just staring. I go to most social web - the ones that I can face - and I do enough chores to get by. The rest of time you'll find me here. Staring. Wondering. Wishing. Hoping. Praying. And trying to read the many, many, many books. So far, I had read seven to eight books.

My cousins, they tried to coax me out of my room and down to the town. They asked as often as they could. They thought that I had a shell that could be broken . They didn't realize that I was the broken one; my shell had nothing to do with it. Bcs of some life's tragedy, i'm the girl who keeps to herself. The shy girl. To give them credit, they tried. But how could they know? I wasn't shy. My heart was broken all day long. Not bcs of Kikie (this is not about love so please if you dont understand it, you can leave) It's a permanent state of being. That is why I hate crowds. That is why I dont talk to others like I used to. Thanks a lot to my lips who can actually tried to fake a smile. This is serious talking. That is why, at some point not only my family but my friends too, they got offended by me. Like, how can I explain this to you ? It is too complicated. If it is wasn't me myself who encourage myself, I dont have that so-called self esteem.

I hate it when someone tried to be closed to me like wantimg to know what's happening, but thankfully, isn't often. Like who actually care about me? Lol. I have to pretend that I'm fine, otherwise, who-ever they are will worry. I can't bear putting up the regular basis. On the other social web, I can act like everything's okay, fine and perfect. Bcs at least, no one knows me there. No one knows what I used to be like. Before you. Before love. Before loss.

Apparently, my room was my refuge. But as time has gone on it's felt like prison. It's been a bitterly weather, but today the sun is shining so bright. That is why I jot this down. Something stirs inside me. Something I haven't felt for such a long time that I'm not sure if I recognize it. Could it be a.............happiness? No. Hope? Perhaps. I have a sudden urge to go out yesterday, so before the deep sadness sets in again I turn and hurry out of the door, grabbing my car key as I go. I drove down to the town, buying groceries. Staring at almost all the people there at the supermarket. Some were tense and some were good with their skirts and some were looks like Marilyn Monroe and some were just nice to see. The positive feeling inside me goes stronger, and i desperately don't want it to dissolve.

Maybe this is what they called growing up. Maybe this is what they called "your life so you choose". Maybe this is what they called LIFE. Everything like playing on my brain right now. Well this is it. The time will prove me whether I was wrong or I was not. Lets face it, 10 days to go and you'll know what have you done to your life. This is tough, I know. But who are you to stop this? This is just another life lesson that will be memorized till death. This is me when i'm 18. I'm sure this will be fun. And I choose to be happy xxx

Saturday, February 23, 2013

All fucking fake faces.

So here we go again, I fucking hates hypocrite. Like who are you actually, bitch-friend-from-hell? Its been like hell actually to have someone who I should give them a terrible faceslaps. Seriously, I don't fucking mind about your businesses, so why would you fucking care? A whore I guess. You don't have to talked to me as if we were like so close to each other, for God sake you don't have to do that. Why do you need to fuckng fake your own self? Euw, it was too disgusting. Just stay your way away from me. Bye.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Reminiscing the not-so-yet an old history.

Its just an old picture of mine.

To be frank, I've been missing the old days. To say the best part of being kid is that you don't have to think about others feeling and we didn't effin care about heartache and this whole big world might be cliche but truth is that what we hold on right now. Being a kids somehow annoying as you'd been grown up, you saw those annoying kids running around the whole house and all they know is enjoying their lives just like you before. And that come across my mind every single time I saw those kids, those precious moment. Its almost eighteen years ago, and I can't quite remember what happened. All I knew was to drive myself crazy and being everywhere with my mom and dad.

As a third daughter from four siblings, I've been so lucky to have one elder brother, one elder sister, and one youngest brother. Its just nice you know being in the middle one. Back then, my family was a hard-die-fans of those singers like Micheal Learns To Rock and Westlife. Its obviously influenced me too. Until now, I still can sing very well of their songs.

Well you see yourself, turning 18 is kind of scary because when you're 18, you go from being a kid and then you drive and are more of a young adult in a way.

 But at some point, all I wants is to grown up and left everything aside from me. Its cool to grown up. I just can't wait to have my own car and house. I almost there. And its time to grown up kan? All those kid memories is safe on my brain. Maybe one day, my kids will know the story. 

xoxo, d.

Monday, February 11, 2013

We were a fairy tale.

'To be honest, the first thing that crossed my mind was that I wasn't needed here. With them? No it can't be real. Just look at them, they were all so perfect. They never wanted me here or I don't even belongs here, with them'

Heavy tears running up on my cheeks. Ah, I never change! Still the old dumbass who can't handle her things. An ass-hat who never tried to fix her things. She end up crying alone in her room, alone. Only god and her knows better.

Time passes by, and I couldn't live without all of them. They, who was always there for me. They, who always understand every single inch of my heart. Feeling grateful and the luckiest person at those very moments. But this wasn't permanent or maybe I was too far from them. Or maybe it's just me yang memang didn't suit with them. They were always wants me there but for some reasons that me, myself couldn't understands why.

Feeling like a silly teenager, and not all like the mature self-assured eighteen-years-old I am, I'm getting offended every single moments I'm being neglected. Not wanting to disappoint any of them, I tried real hard not to gave my silly expressions. Those unwanted feeling came all over my mind. I gave my butt-off to attend every single meeting but I just can't. I'm sorry.

Back then, we were so damn closed. We even shared all things together. But then, now, it doesn't seems right to me. They was drifting away from me. Maybe now we didn't shared common things. Maybe bcs we did not attend the same school for 2 years. Maybe bcs I was the reason why we're all drifting apart, my decision to leave all of you. My decision to moved might had been offended you. But I put all the negative sides away from my thoughts.

This is so tough. We're like fairy tales. Like an ancient story. Like a history. Uncommon history which no one, no one would ever wants to hear. My life is a complete wreck without them but maybe I should give you a step back. A step to go away from you. A step that you would never feel my existence anymore. A step that would makes everyone happier than ever. Things change, completely.

I tell you what, our story is a history which only you and I knows it well. Better than anyone else. To whoever it may concerned, I'll pray for us.

Monday, February 4, 2013

We're young and we're deeply in love.

Its been awhile clearly since my (not most recent) post. A lot has happened since then.

I finished my SPM and settled down everything. Starts well and ends well perhaps. Its just so exciting to live your own life now, not worrying about the tons of assignments, homeworks and school stuff. I worked my butt off  even with concussion and revelation of learning abilities, but I pulled through. All this just goes and shows me that I just need work even harder than I could just to chase my dream and makes everyone proud. After all the hardworks, I still confused what to do and what to take and what to learn after this. I am fully depending on my exam results. Ma Allah ease everything and grant my wishes. 

That could be also new. Hmm. So I've decided to work with my mom to increase my monthly allowance. But sometimes yknow, I get too tired handling mom's account. And hopefully someday my child will learn it is not easy to earn for a living. Looks like mom and dad have been working so hard to get us living in ease and comfort. 

So I really don't get along with someone who seems to be annoyed with my words. Well, I live not to please everyone honey. I live y life not to cause troublesome to you. I live my life with honesty and happiness. You should know that sometimes the world isn't yours till forever, it ours. We're not living on the same roof but we're all were living with the same shelter that Allah gives us. So why don't you take the chance to be a real good buddies instead of throwing your sharp blade words to an innocent girl, like me. Be nice, perhaps. Oh well, I felt insecure sometimes. But nevermind, when there's a thing that happening to you, i'm sure there will be always a reason for that. Yknow what i'm muttering? 

I should be proud of myself too. Within a month, i'm going to have my own driving licence. Lucky me, i know right. So my QTI is on this Wednesday. Just wish me luck guys. xoxo

Kikie and I was just happy together. Its been 366 days we've been together. It is just the numbers by the way. Those uncountable heartbeats everytime I was with him were still there and I swear its everywhere. Back then I was a failure, love phobia, heartbreaker and love isn't my good choice but he picked me up from everything. He spine the world and makes everything under control. We're in love, deeply. Until now, I can feel the warmness of love that he had brought to my life. I know I shouldn't hope for an unsure love but both of us were trying hard on making our love will last till forever, if Allah's will. We're expecting from a puppy love. We're not like those who can easily break up and moved on. We're stick together like a glue, we're strong. I know we're young. I just love him so much. 

Anyway, that's really all i have for now, more has happened but i'm exhausted. Just remember one thing before going to bed, your world aren't mine I should't have interfere and so do you. 


Sunday, December 30, 2012

No matter what the world said about us, I wont give up on us ♥

Assalammualaikum everyone. Its been so long I haven't update my blog. Hm, too many viruses spreading nowadays. But just ignore it for awhile, okay?

Today I nak berjiwang lah, okay kot :*

Entry today is all about him. So cerita nya macam nih. Thanks to project sejarah sebab rapat kan kitorang. Mula mula tu dia asyik usha D je tau ! Haha. But I macam biasalah, keep cool baby. Then, kitorang exchange number phone. Tu pun dia yang mintak tau. Mula lah kitorang kenal diri masing masing. Banyak lah yang kitorang dua share sesama sendiri. Lepas tuh dia ayik text D je. Mula mula tuh D rimas jugak. Yalah, nak kena buat assignment lagi, cerita dengan kawan lagi, reply text dia lah. Sangat merimaskan. Tapi tapi, dia ni pandai sangat nak curi hati I. Haha, memang dia takkan kacau I kalau time tu D busy. Sangat understanding. Okay, that's the one thing yang D suka dekat dia ni. After that, both of us getting closer and closer. At first memang lah I felt a little bit insecure tau nak bekawan dengan dia. Yelahh, dia ni punya perangai memang tak boleh blah kalau dah lepak dengan kawan kawan dia. Tapi dengan D dia sweet semacam. D pon pelik ah dengan dia ni. Yalah, it is hard to trust boys nowadays kan. The things that makes me had a faith with him was when he is willing to do anything for me. D tak pernah suruh pun. Tapi dia buat jugak. Memang hebat lah taktik dia nak mengurat. Hahaha. So nak dipendekkan cerita D pun rasa macam best ja mamat ni. Lol. Tak da lah. I really likes him for what he is. Betul betul macam cerita filem. Tiga minggu lepas tu, mula lah debaran bunga bunga cinta kitorang. Euw geli, jiwang pulak D ni =='

Sekarang dah nak masuk 11 bulan. Rasa macam baru ja dia proposed untuk jadi girlfriend dia. Tapi kan, D tanak lah berharap sangat. Takut nanti ada yang kecewa. D tau dia sangat sayang kan D. Satu lagi yang boleh buat D percaya sangat dengan sincerity budak ni is when he really really cried in front of me. Well, I ni girlfriend yang sangat jahat and dia pulak boyfriend yang sangat penyabar. Kadang kadang D kagum tau dengan kesabaran dia melayan D yang macam budak budak ni. D kalau nak marah memang D sembur ja, tak kira lah itu boleh buat dia tersinggung atau pun tak. Jahat tak? Tulahh, D takut jugak nanti dia naik muak dengan D, takda sapa boleh faham D macam mana dia faham D. Bukan D nak cakap dia perfect sangat, taaaak. Tapi mungkin dia yang adalah salah sorang yang masuk dalam list boyfriend paling understanding. Muehehe :3 Tapi itulah macam yang D cakap tadi, D taknak berharap sangat. Nanti kitorang masuk U, mesti jumpa ramai orang kan. Kot kot betul kitorang takda jodoh then dia jumpa jodoh dia dekat U. Haaahh, kan sengsara D nanti. Hehe.

Apa apa pun, D sangat sangat bahagia dengan dia. D cuma boleh doa yang kitorang akan last till like forever. Ataupun ala ala trend sekarang "last till jannah". Hehe.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

I'm back !

HELLO EARTHLINGS. Well, i'm officially ex-MRSM student bebeh. New LIFE and New Spirit :3 I'll  update later okay. I know you guys miss me. But I really have something to do. Okay. Bye :*

Friday, August 31, 2012

i might thinking of going away.

hi. so this craps have been disrupt me so much. thinking of going away from that bloody schools. for no reason, got scolded. this is unfair you know. so, I'm a 17 years old student who are obviously going through a lot of destruction and suffering from a heavy fucking stress. to be frank, i hate him ( not to mention name. trying to be specific he is someone who had a quite high position at my school. )

last two days my parents came to visit me as my sister is going back to Shah Alam. coincidentally got 4 bloody asshole shitting at the cafeteria. my parents park their car too near to them. so I realize the uneasy glare they put on me. i know what's the signs mean but i don't care at all. i met my sister for the last time before she leaves and it took us 10-15 minutes chit chat-ing. sempat lagi dorang make fun dekat aku. felt sad because she is leaving. it's time for them to leave, i waved them a great goodbye. as i turned over and going back to my dorm, i heard a shitty voice from that fucking old man.

he asked me to come over. as instructed, i went to the cafe. di sini lah climax yg teramat sangat. dia malukan aku dekat orangramai. keluar segala maki maki, tapi dalam hati lah. seriously, aku nampak muka RZA (di tebalikkan) sangat happy bila tengok kena macam tu. asshole, real asshole. aku tak berdiam. aku reveal the truth yang kakak aku nak balik and she wants to meet me before she leaves. mata aku dah mulai merah menyala, tangan aku genggam sekuat mungkin. realizing my conditions, baru dia sedar and keluar kan ayat nak release aku. siap ugut nak gantung sekolah bagai. kau gantung lah, kau ingat aku kisah sangat? tak setimpal okay dgn apa kesalahan yang aku buat. phuik. jangan fikir kau hebat sangat. tak payah nak tunjuk sangat lah kuasa yang kau ada tu.

lain kali. bila nak marah marah siasat dulu. nampak je macam educated rupanya bangang. hell awaits you. .|.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

kau aku nokhtah.

makin aku pendam perasaan ni makin gila aku rasa. aku tak tau kau cakap apa pasal aku di belog kau. and sikit pun sumpah aku tak nak tahu. aku tak kisah kau cerita pasal aku dekat 'cinta hati pengarang jantung' kau. serious aku tak kisah. sikit pun tak. biarpun hati ni sakit nak melarat, tapi aku boleh buat apa. aku? aku tak pernah jaja cerita kau keluar dari bilik. macamana orang lain boleh tau? itu kau tanya diri kau sendiri. u ask yourself. HOW DO YOU ACT IN FRONT OTHERS? kalau aku ja yang sakit hati aku tak kisah kau cakap aku ni jaja cerita kau. tapi sayang, bukan aku sorang ja. tapi kau tak tahu. dah lama dah pun. memang kau tak tahu. dari dalam sampai ke luar, mereka tahu. macamana ek dorg bole tau? aku tak ada jawapan untuk semua tu.

kau? kau lagak bagus. semua macam kau tau. kau? kau tak pernah rasa nak kalah kan. kau pendatang baru. maaf kali ni aku mmg kasar. kau tak tahu kami macamana. kau dengan perangai haprak kau datang. mula mula, oh ok fine mungkin aku sorang ja yang perasan ni. lama lama, 'iyaaaa! kau pun rasa begitu? aku pun aku ingat aku sorang ja'. maaf itu realiti nya. jangan tanya kau apa salah kau. sebab jawapan tu dah terbuku lama aku buang. sebab? tak da guna nya kau nak tahu. sebab aku tau tak kan pernah ubah semua tu.

aku tak nafi kan. dengan orang lain, wahh. kau macam malaikat. tapi dengan aku, kau treat aku macam sampah. banyak dah der benda yang kau buat tapi aku diam ja kan. diam, tak pernah sikit pun aku nak bersuara. jahat jahat aku ni pun aku tak pernah marah kau depan orang ramai kan? aku tak pernah malu kan kau depan orang ramai kan? pernah aku kencang kencang dengan kau depan orang ramai? tidak. kalau kau masih ingat lah, masa KPU hari tuh. setitik demi setitik air mata aku jatuh sebab kau. taktau apa salah aku satu hari perangai kau time tu giler macam babi siot. tak dapat nak digambarkan, heh. malam tu sebab aku tak tahan aku marah kau kan? itu pun sikit ja der! sikit, kau tak tau macamana tehakis nya hati ku ni kau buat tiap kali aku dekat dengan kau. aku tak faham perangai jenis apa kau perempuan. ntah. sikit pun tak faham.

memang kau punya perangai jenis yang tak nak kalah biarpun sebenarnya kau salah kan. kencang? haha. kau punya pengarang jantung pun cakap. aku tak cakap. dia cakap. and and orang begitu yang kau mau lagi? kau memang bikin aku panas der. kau tau benda apa buat aku paling menyesal? reveal semua apa yang balak kau buat dekat kau belakang kau! dah kau pegi kempen sana kempen sini kau tak nak dia dah. last last apa kau ingat aku bodoh tak tahu semua benda yang kau tipu aku?! aku tak kisah lah kalau kau nak tipu aku sekarang sebab aku sikit pun dah taknak tau pasal kau. yang dulu tu. kau boleh tak kau fikir dulu bila kau buat something. hello aku ni student satu umur pasal kau. macam kau cakap lah 'aku pun pernah bha jugak buat begitu. aku tau kamu cakap pasal aku bha'. lols. kau keluar malam2 jam 12 konon mau ambik angin lah tengok movie lah tengok tengok kau pegi betelefon dengan jantan jahanam tu kan! haha. kau, aku tak kisah kalau kau bagitau aku yang kau dah balik dengan dia. yang kau tipu aku konon keluar sini sana lah apasal?! dah lah kau tipu KAMI konon nya kau cuma berbaik dengan dia ja.

ya ampun. tak da apa apa ka tu keluar tengok wayang hari rabu. duhh, memang lah kau kan. betul la apa dorang cakap kau sudah ludah baru kau jilat balik. boo! lepas ni kau tengok tu yang di atas tu tajuk entry tu, kau boleh baca kan? nahh, aku tak kenal kau. dan aku tak berharap pun untuk kau kenal aku lepas ni. kau lepas ni pandai pandai lah bawak diri. kau pandai pandai lah macamana nanti naik sekolah. pandai pandai lah aku acting macam yang kau buat selalu kan. kau buat lah suka hatimu. satu ja aku harap, kau tu pandai jangan jadi diri tu bodoh senang betul ditawan oleh lelaki. jadi kau kau, aku aku. that's all.

*maaf entry kali ni luahan hati tahap gaban.

Monday, June 4, 2012


there's a lot to tell you ever since you enter my heart. you've changed my life. the entire life, dear. you brightens my day. you light up my world. well baby you know how much you meant to me. like you are the other part of me. half of me is you. though i do admit it came on fast, still i do believe that we can lasts longer. so dear, thank you for always there for in times of ease and hards. thank you for being a great listener to me. thank you for always giving your arm when i'm in sorrow. 

here i say. i just want you to know that i do love you so. if god's will, we'll be together forever :)

Friday, June 1, 2012

forever strong.

hi :) hari ni aku dgn adik aku buat kerja gila. sebab nak tlg kakak aku yang tercinta tu, kitorang tepaksa sneak out bawak kereta mamy. seram tu memang seram. takut trafik saman, haha. tapi best sesangat. mcam dunia tu aku yang punya. *tettt. ok berbalik pada tittle untuk entry kali ni. nak dimulakan cerita, i've been together with him for 3 months and 27 days. Teheee, maksud nya 4th June ni kami 4 bulan. er, macam budak budak rasanya kan. perasaan tu tak tau nak di gambarkan macamana.

and u know what he is too kind to me. sometimes i felt guilty for treating him bad. i treat him just like a slave(eh, ndala. mcm kejam betul pula kan kalau slave). he's been to me. he treat me well. he is adoring. he is charming. he is sweet. he is freaking stupid sometimes. he is the one who i can rely on. he is the music to my harmony. he is the rain when ever i put on fire. he is everything to me.

not to forget that spm is around the corner. i admit that it is hard to focus on both studies and relationship. but luckily i got him around. he understands me. he tried to not to be so manja to me. lagipun i geli kalau dia cuba nak manja manja, haha. no offense syg :) he helped me a lot on my studies. dia pandai addmaths okay. taklah pandai mana pun tapi sekurang kurangya dia boleh bimbing aku.

me? i love fighting with him. makin aku begaduh dgn dia makin rasa syg tu menebal. haha, pelik kan? tapi kira okay lah. sekurang kurang nya aku tak lah kemaruk cinta sangat sampai nak pegi buat bukan bukan. aku harap relationship kitorang bersih dengan semua tu. future awaits me. sorry, aku memang lebih kan study aku dari apa apa benda. i've seen many failed people. so, aku tak nak jadi macam tu. mudah mudahan di jauh kan. amin.

whatever it is, we will be forever strong ♥<----besar pulak love ni :D

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

holidays, homeworks.

Hello guys. It have been around 3 days of schools holiday. And yeah, before going home last time the teachers had prepared such a nice presents for us. A bunch of homework. Yeah, thank you so much. Well, i guess holidays and homeworks are meant to be together, right? When homework is missing, there would be no holidays. Sucks, huh? I'm a particular schooled student who wears uniform and carried bags to school every weekdays. The difference between me and them is my 'tiny-little house' located too near to my school. I admit that it wasn't a great little time staying there. You know when you are in so-called unusual school, you'll be given unusual schools homework too. Bear with it, huh? Craps! All craps. Since I went to that schools I just do not know what's the definition of holidays to them. I'm not judging what they are doing for us. It was called 'the best thing for preparation for your exam'. But but but, listen here. Difference people are with difference style right? Same goes to students. Difference students got difference ways of learning. U can't pushed them. Some students can be pushed and some are not. Recalling the post made by my friends in facebook(not wanting write her name) 'If a single teacher cannot teach all the subjects , then how could they expect a single student to learn all subjects ?' Well u got answers for this question? Its not that I hate those homeworks or I hate the teachers. No, it's just some time give us time to relax and think to be a better person. For me its the matter of being honest to yourself then you can succeed. That's all for tonight. Gonna post something for my beloved one after this. Love lots :*

Monday, May 28, 2012

Thanks for the lies.

life's simply hard. yes i know and i do realize that. well baby, expectation kills. you expect me to stand for you, huh? sorry, but in reality i back off. stop the fantasy that you create on your own. i don't blame you. i blame us. forgiving isn't easy. you can't simply throw those forgiving words. forgiving is all about the trust you give and you broke. once you broke it, it's not that easy to fix. time heals evrything? maybe time will heal not me. i'm sorry for being too selfish. sorry for being dishonest. sorry for not telling the truth. but i expect you to know me better. you lied on me, on us, on our friendship. you stand for someone who don't deserve you at all. you cried for someone who doesn't worth it at all. you really wants to know why, right? it's all because of this. thanks for ruining our frienship just because that darn-it bastard who have hurt you for million times.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Uncertain event thus valuable moments.

Assalammualaikum and hello people.

Month of May have been great to me. Well, alhamdulillah for that. Talking about month of May, i'll be having my my my final exam for this semester. God, please help me. I need to rise up pointer. Harap-harap dapat lah apa yang di hajat kan. Rugi kalau pointer tak naik ni kali, pagi petang siang malam ada kelas. Kena pulun dgn homework. Okayy, sangat rugi kalau pointer tak naik. Untonglahh yang pandai-pandai tuh. Aku? Ntah bila nya nak jadi macam Einstein kan. Lol. Okay-okay, lupakan pasal exam aku kejap k. Nak bagitau ni, aku sakit. Huaaa ): Sangat-sangat sengal la flu and fever ni. Tu blum tonsil aku lagi. Sangat sengsara minggu ni. Tapi ntah la, aku rasa aku okay je pun sebenarnya sebelum tuh. I have fun being a real particular student this week. Muehehe. Macam ta pecaya kan. Yang part sengsara tuu kan, salah aku jugak. Dah lah tak makan ubat, biar je sakit tu melarat. Outing pegi check doctor, doctor pun ckp nostril aku da bengkak. That's why ada blockage dekat saluran mata ke hidung. Susah nak bersin, mata tak pernah nya nak berenti berair. Oh myy, sangat tak heaven okay. Haha. 

Okay. Ubah topik lagi. Kadang kadang kan aku tak faham apa yang dia nak. Susah nak faham dia. Susah sangat sangat. Mungkin sikap aku kot yang jenis ignore je dia. Ntah, aku takda masa nak layan semua tu. Aku tanak jadikan dia beban aku. Cukup lahh fokus aku untuk SPM sekarang ok. Aku rasa dia patut faham kenapa aku buat camtu. Kelas buddy belambak ok, bukan saje2 nak ignore-ignore. Tapi kan, tapi kan dia sorang yang sangat-sangat penyabar. Tak tau lah nak ckp macamana. But thats the greatest things that makes me don't wanna lose him. Dia ajar aku addmaths dgn penuh sabar. HAHA. Sangat lucu bila aku dah ta faham dia ckp apa. Yang penting markah addmaths aku agak meningkat lepas dia jadi 'cikgu sementara aku'. Muehehe. So, itu je nak share. Nak buat homework the terus tidur. Nights people#

Monday, April 30, 2012

Hai homework, goodbye holiday.

Greetings everyone.
Tengok blog? Dah puas hati dahh kot. Hehe. Stelah sekian lama terperuk dgn blogskin yang tu ja, akhirnya aku da tukar. Esok aku balik maktab. Ntah apeape entah. Rasa mcam baru tadi sampai dekat rumah. Alahai, heaven nya rumah aku. Aku tatau lah. Aku rasa macam tanak balik ja. Hmph. Malas da nak mengeluh. Penat da rasanya. Homework yang betimbun tu tak semuanya complete. Oh myy, kadang kadang aku tak faham apa definisi cuti bagi dorang. Dorang senang lenang terperuk dekat rumah time2 holiday macam ni. Kitorang? Kena pulun habis. Memang lahh, aku sedar ni reality life seorg student. Tapi aku tak rasa pun enjoy nya jadi sorang student kalau macam ni.

Tatau napa malam ni aku rasa macam annoyed sangat. Sedangkan orang lain da lama da terasa annoyed nya. Aku ja baru terasa bahang2 api kemarahan dapat homework banyak. Aku tatau nak cakap lagi. Hmph, i guess that's all. Kang tekeluar pulak ayat2 ta baik. Goodnight everyone.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Till death tear us apart ♥

Hey, hi. You know I'm missin you and I know you missin me too.

It almost three months now. We shared all the laughter and tough times together. It is hard for me to say. Honestly speaking, I deeply fell in love with you. I felt safe whenever you are right besides me. I felt comfortable to share all the problems that I had. I felt the happiness to share all the laughter and joy with you.
Well baby, You know I'm lovin you and I know you do so. I never thought I'd love you so much. By the time we met, I never thought we're going to fall on each other's arm. I believe that things happen for a reason. And that's the faith written that I've found you. Dear, even if I have a hundred reasons to leave you, I'll look for that one reason to fight for you. There's no excuses, no lies and no broken promises for you dear. And that's how I believe that we can last longer. Until then, counting days for you to come back here again  

Saturday, March 17, 2012

It have been so long ♥

*haaai. ni aku yang tak pandai nak senyum :3

Assalammualaikum dear followers, readers and stalker :)

I know I have been away for real long time. Its been two months I haven't update this blog. Life have been great after all. Have been busy preparing for the upcoming examination. Now, its school's break but unluckily today is the last day of holiday. Going back to maktab tomorrow as usual. Facing the same environment for all the times. Sometimes boredom strikes me, but with friends who are always there for me I guess I'm the one who strikes the boredom. HAHA.

Tak tau nak cakap pasal apa. Selalu nya aku mengadu pasal life aku yang sucks, pasal unsure relationship yang aku face, pasal sekolah aku yang totally membosankan. But now? I'm growing up. I'm totally a seventeen years old girl. Cukup tua untuk berperangai macam budak budak. Alhamdulillah, I have been given great family, friends and him who understands me a lot than anybody else. Cukup bersyukur untuk semua tu, thank you ALLAH :)

Dua bulan lebih aku tak update kan. Macam macam jadi. Ada orang pernah cakap dengan aku yang; tak perlu nak dengar apa cakap orang. Sebenarnya dorang jelez dengan apa yang kau ada. Kata kata tu buat aku nampak apa yang jadi dekat sekeliling aku. Aku bukan nak kata apa tapi itulah hakikat yang aku lalui berapa lama ni. Orang tak kan puas selagi dia tak nampak kau jatuh terguling guling. Serius aku cakap, sifat iri hati melebihi sifat perikemanusiaan yang dorang ad. Kau tak cari masalah, tapi dorang akan buat kau cari masalah dengan dorang. I cursed a lot but that doesn't matter to them. Kau duduk diam dan sabar lagi bagus dari kau melawan. Itu lah yang terbaik.

Bytheway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me. Lol. Umur dah cukup 17. Dah boleh kawin dahh, oh myy berangan ja kerja aku -.- Ok, stop the nonsense. Aku akan cuba sedaya upaya aku untuk persuade ayah supaya aku boleh dapat lesen memandu tahun ni jugak. Sangaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat tak sabar. Haha. I guess thats all baby, got lots of stuff to do. Until then, love lots :*

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Its my life, not yours.

Hello and Assalammualaikum, lama rasa nya tak update blog yang dah bersesawang ni. Hmph, what should I say about today's entry? It's all about the truth of my sucks life and the stressful of life. Dear readers, kadang kadang aku tak faham. Aku tak carik pasal pun dengan orang tapi kenapa ada ja yang tak puas hati eh? Aku sikit pun tak kacau hidup kau lah, tapi kenapa kau nak serabut kan hidup aku hah? Apasal kau dengki sangat dengan aku? Eyh, aku tak faham lah. Tak payah nak susah susah buat cerita pasal aku, boleh tak? Mungkin yalaa, siapa lah aku nak lawan kau kan. Mungkin kau rasa kau cukup kuat dekat situ. Mula nya tu yala aku bole respect kau tapi sampai satu tahap yang aku tak boleh nak tahan, sekelumit hormat pun dah tak untuk kau. Memang lahh, kau senang lahh cakap statement kau tu tak refer dekat aku. Tapi hakikat sebenarnya benda tuh besangkut paut dengan aku bro. Hidup aku, kau tak payah lah nak sebok sebok. Kenapa kau tak da life dah ehh? Hello, coward macam kau ja yang buat buat cerita dekat musuh dia tau. Kalau kau rasa kau berani sangat, sini lahh face to face dengan aku. Nak cakap pun dah takda guna sebab aku confirm kau tak faham bahasa punya. Heih, geram aku. Nak suruh aku tutup telinga, sampai bila weh? Aku pun manusia jugak. Aku pun ada perasaan jugak. So, please lah. Tak payah nak serabut kan kepala otak aku ni. Ni life aku, not even yours. Jaga lah tepi kain sendiri. Tak payah nak susah susah selak kain orang. Tak malu ka? Aku cukup sabar dengan apa yang dah jadi ekat aku lately ni, so please stop. Tak payah nak jadi paparazzi lah sangat. Aku doakan kau berubah dan dapat hidayah. Okay byeeee.

| aku harap kau terasa. kalau kau tak terasa, memang sah sah lah kau ni takda perasaan. bukan berhati manusia tapi berhati binatang. oh yeah, sebelum aku lupa. terima kasih buat hidup aku beserabut. tapi sebenarnya tak lah serabut mana kalau nak dibandingkan dengan azab yang kau dapat di akhirat nanti. bye! |

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Tak seindah syurga, tapi taklah seteruk halilintar ♥

Mood tak baik. Tapi cuba untuk menulis.

*cuba untuk tukar mood

Dear everyone, happy new year :)
2011 tak seindah mana. Haru biru, otak celaru; tak tau apa yang nak dituju. Honeymoon yang tak seberapa menyeronokkan bila ada jelatang jelatang yang merosakkan. Cinta yang tak pernah nya nak kekal bila lelaki tak guna yang curi hati. Study yang tak berapa nak cemerlang bila asyik tak nak siapkan homework. Senyum yang tak pandai nak keluar keluar bila hati dah mulai panas. Pergaduhan yang tak berpanjangan tapi masih berdarah di hati. Perselisihan faham antara orang yang tak sepatutnya berpanjangan dan terasa awkward bila nak jumpa. Perasaan hormat yang hilang apabila dipandang sebelah mata. Benci yang tak pernah hilang bila tengok muka muka babi yang rasa dorang tu kuat, yang tak pernah nya nak hormat perempuan.

Tapi tak lahh seterukk mana bila masa mengajar aku untuk bersabar. Bila roomates yang sama gilanya dengan aku sentiasa ada dengan aku waktu susah ataupun senang. Bila ada sorang yang selalu concern dan buat aku tertawan. Bila hari aku haru ada saja yang buat kan nya jadi biru. Bila aku rasa aku tak lah seberapa pandai tapi at least aku buat yang terbaik. Bila perselisihan faham yang agak melucukan tapi agak meng-annoyingkan aku rempuh tak pandang kiri kanan. Bila ada masa masa tertentu dalam kelas yang boleh buat aku gila. Bila aku dapat lari tinggalkan tempat yang aku duduk sekarangg ke tempat yang menyenangkan mata, hati dan fikiran.

2012, walaupun aku tak berharap dekat kau sangat tapi aku masih berharap untuk yang terbaik. Cinta cintun aku tinggalkan untuk taktau berapa lama. Yang pastinya, tak tersangkut dekat mana mana lelaki tak guna. No way  SPM? Bukan straight A jadi ukuran, tapi keazaman. Kali ni, hidup cukup macam lain sikit dari yang biasa. Exam besar takda tution, tapi sistem tetap sama macam tution. Selamat pecah otak kepada aku. Esok balik maktab, aku harap adalah yang berbeza. Jangan buat aku rasa bosan, maktab -.-

Goodnights syggg sekalian 

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

If you brave enough to say 'good bye', life will reward you a new hello :)

Life get’s in the way. People lose jobs, get new ones; fall in love, get hurt; get busy, fall out of touch. It’s part of being an adult, part of chasing your myth. Last four years ago, I met Fateen for the first time in too long and for a minute or two we both were in the same class and did not speak to each other until one particular day. Students teddle-toddled down stairs too quickly and teachers scolding everywhere next to the staff rooms. When evening comes out light leaked trough leaves like they were coffee filters and she leaned over and said, “See, this is what it’s like to slow down”. In that moment it felt nice, it felt right.

Deep meaning, huh? Reminiscing the first time I met my great great bestfriend till death on 2008. Faith written that we have to face hard times together but alhamdulillah, until now she's the best among the best that always be; FATEEN SHAHRIZAN RIZAM. Love yaa teen, sorry sebab pindah tahun ni. paling nda best juga kelas aku ni tahun, without u :)

Tengok tittle, bukan itu topik utama sebenarnya. Kali ni, entry cukup bermakna bagi aku :)
It's been quite a pathetic day through out the year I guess. Lots of problems comes in and out. Bukan nak mempertikaikan ujian Allah, tapi itu kenyataan sebenar yang aku sendiri lalui berapa bulan ni. Telampau awal untuk aku cakap goodbye to 2011 and terlalu awal ucapan hello untuk 2012. Okay, lets just to my main point. Well, obviously 2012 is just around the corner and yet 2011 just have no space to enter any of my events. 2012; big year, huh? Yeah, totally. Semua pun tau budak tingkatan 5 yang obviously umur 17 tahun bakal ambik spm kan. Big year for ME and all 7-teens seluruh Malaysia okay.

And that's why, i really hope every single little thing would be just fine for me next year. Aku bosan tengok persekitaran aku yang penuh tipu daya, muslihat dan fitnah manusia manusia yang tak bertamadun. Ayat tak boleh blah, tapi itu hakikat. Aku sendiri jelak tengok semua tu hari hari. Well, harapan aku setinggi awan untuk buat diri aku sendiri rasa bebas untuk buat apa yang aku rasa aku patut buat. Bukan takut dihadapkan dengan segala macam hukuman. Aku mau hidup baru. Aku mau rasa hidup macam anak burung yang baru keluar dari  telurnya dan belajar untuk terbang bebas. Tak perlu sesempurna mana, ala kadar sudah cukup. Aku ak minta banyak mana pun. Aku cuma nak orang orang sekeliling faham aku seadanya, cukup sekadar untuk dijaga hati ni yang tak tau berapa banyak calarnya.

Harapan aku untuk SPM tak setinggi mana. Bukan berputus asa, tapi sedar akan kebolehan sendiri. Honestly, aku rasa macam mimpi. Rasa macam baru mendaftar untuk tingkatan 1. Sekarang, tak lama lagi registration untuk form 5 pulak. Masa macam bejalan terlalu cepat kan? Kalau tanya aku nak balik asrama ataupun tak, tak habis soalan kau aku rasa aku dah jawab dah dengan perkataan 'tak nak'. Cuba sedaya upaya untuk mengelakkan perasaan benci dekat maktab tu tapi kadang kadang aku kalah. Tak tau kenapa, maktab tu macam mau cari gadu -.- Ahai, macam melencong sikit aku ni. Tapi, seriouss ni; aku pun ta tau napa.

To all guys out there, see that? Yeah, I'M NOT A SECOND FUCKING CHOICE ! Lelaki, tolong lah. Aku cukup bosan dengan sikap sikap kamu. Tak terlintas pun untuk menghukum tapi kenyataan nya ada depan mata. Berapa ramai perempuan kau dah sakitkan? Kau kira sendiri, aku pasti tak terkira kan. After this, I won't bother to see any of you boyss. #satu yang pasti saya tak lesbian lah -.-

Itu ja lah coretan aku. Aku tak benci kau 2011, kau banyak ajar aku erti sabar yang sebenar. So, every story has an ending. But in life, every ending is just a new beginner. Early Welcome to 2012. Please completely be nice :)


Wednesday, December 21, 2011

i hate the truth that im facing.

Hi. I know it is too late but it just to hard to fell asleep. Still fresh over here. How could i ever had a sweet dream ever again when all my dreams had been shattered by that bastard? Yes, im the one who obviously fool when i tried to fixed up our broken bridge. I thought i could win his heart after that stupid day when i did tried so hard so he would forgive me ever again. How happy i am when he wants me back. Oh my freaking god. Felt that the world is mine. But everything was just like a rain, it comes and go when ever they want. Same here, like him. How can i ever trust and believe he would never left me. I just hate the things that i have to face everyday. Feel like im the stupidest person in this wide world. I just hate to say that i miss him and loved him so. To hard to move on. But baby, believe this. I will never ever trust, loved and missed u ever again after this. Thanks for those tears. Goodbye!

Friday, December 9, 2011

Langkawi ♥

Hi again. Tengok tittle and gambar di atas. Yeah, arrived safely yesterday. Alhamdulillah. Cuaca kemarin agak mendung dan berawan. Pening kepala time dekat flight, kapal goyang goyang. Yang paling mantap dapat seat yang ada ramai budak budak. Biasalah budak budak. Meng-annoying kan. Haha, sorry kanak kanak seluruh dunia. Itu kenyataan, tapi kamu tetap comel. So, macam biasa la. Bila becuti di tempat sendiri banyak la tempat yang nak di pegi. Hari pertama, kitorang pegi......tak pegi mana mana pun sebenarnya -.- Haha. Here I met my cousins and he doesn't even recognize me at all. Siap tanya kat mak dia aku ni sepa. Huhh, menyedihkan ehh. And then, kakak and adik aku pun gelakkan aku berabis la. Sengal, haha :P
Okay laa. Nights laa :')